My birth story really starts around 36 weeks, when I finally
decided that I needed to manifest the birth that I’ve always wanted even before
becoming pregnant, a homebirth. I wasn’t
able to pursue a homebirth when I was first pregnant due to having a new high
profile job, and there being no local homebirth midwives for me to easily slip
out and see for visits. I was seeing a
wonderful group of local midwives that deliver at the St. Joe’s birth center,
and I kept telling myself that it will be fine, even though it wasn’t what I
truly wanted.
I sought out Sandra, a homebirth midwife out of Ithaca at the
suggestion of someone I met after a Mama Birth Yoga class. When she agreed to take me on at 36 weeks, it
was like a weight lifted off me and I was instantly at ease and at peace with
my pregnancy and birth. I was so
thankful that I listened to myself and sought out what was right for us.
At 39 weeks and several days, I woke up at 5am with some
period-like cramps. At 7am I lost my
mucus plug. Being my first pregnancy, I
figured it could be days or today – so best that I clean my house one last time
(prepping for a homebirth takes SERIOUS work!) and I also spent hours in my
home office working and making lots of calls.
I actually noticed I was having contractions mid afternoon while going
through a legal brief with my boss. I
smiled and thought about how cool that was.
By dinner
time, the contractions were a bit more consistent, but I didn’t have to pay
attention to them. As my husband and I
were about to go out and have a nice Friday night dinner, I decided that they
were just a BIT too intense for me to go out of the house, despite my initial
denial. I decided to time them and they
were exactly a minute long, 6 minutes apart for an hour. By 10:30 pm they were 4 minutes apart and
intense. I called my Doula and I told
her to come at her own pace and not to feel rushed. At a bit after midnight she arrived and we
went upstairs to labor on the ball and bed.
She was very pleased at how I was totally giving in to the contractions
and I was 3 minutes apart. Her presence
was instantly comforting and anchored me to my confidence.
She encouraged my husband to fill the birth tub downstairs, he
was thankful for a job to do. I called
my midwife and she asked if she could listen to me labor on speaker phone while
she got ready. Ironically, I got a
couple of major contractions back to back while she was listening. That was intimidating but she was reassuring
that she would leave her home, about an hour and a half away, right then.
I got in the tub at around 1am, it was INCREDIBLE! The buoyancy of the water was a great
compliment to my Doula’s soothing touch and Don’s strong presence. My midwife arrived, calm and quiet. She knelt down near me and just witnessed. When I noticed her I smiled and greeted her,
and she smiled back.
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After a while when
I was catching my breath between contractions she asked how I was and she
asked me when I would be ready to let her check some vitals. It really hit me then, that this was MY
birth. I was in control and what I did
was assemble a close group of people that were there to be on the journey with
me, and love me through it. I felt to
secure and so in control. I continued to
labor and ride the contractions. I
remember them being very intense, I never registered pain or negative
feelings. It turns out that of all the
hypnobirth music I prepared, what really chilled me out was Tom Petty and his
whiney voice. Ha! When my nurse arrived in the 3am hour or I
asked, “Is that Morgan Freeman here to narrate my birth? Cause this is going to be epic!” HA! At
least there was a few chuckles. Perhaps
my happy state is what prompted my midwife to suggest exiting the tub and using
the toilet to see if we could intensify the contractions. Well, the laugh was on me, because it SURE
DID!
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I never understood the need for a cervical dilation check in
labor, I wanted to trust that if I listened my body would tell me what I needed
to know. Additionally, my midwife didn’t
push or require them to assess my status.
She offered to check my cervix if I wanted to know where we stood. But I really didn’t want to know. As I stood up my water broke, and I figured
that was enough of a sign that I was progressing, no centimeters need be known!
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I got back in the tub and everything continued to intensify,
I started to have to use horse breath during the entire contraction to keep
myself from resisting. Up until then I
have to say that lions breath and very deep moaning really got me through. I doubt I took a single wave in silence the
whole 20hrs!!! Hours later, after 7am,
my midwife again suggested that I consider a cervical exam, because I was
showing signs I was ready for Stage 2. I
was totally ready for her to check, she did, and I was fully dilated! How proud I was that I trusted my body! How much encouragement my midwife, nurse,
Doula and husband had on their faces when they looked at me! My husband called my bestie, a photographer,
at 7:30am to tell her to come on over – the baby would be here REALLY
SOON! It was 14 hours in and I was
almost done.
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Wait...whats that? I
WASN’T almost done?! Not even
close?! Aww man!! Yep: I
pushed for 5 hours and 15 minutes. In
hindsight I wonder if it was because I held back a bit. I could have been pushing three times during
a contraction and I did one good one and a half assed one. I just couldn’t surrender. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how my
midwife supported me. She always
encouraged me, she helped me gain confidence and above all – she kept telling
me that this was my journey. Nothing was
wrong with me, I was doing right by trusting my body and taking my time.
We tried
the toilet for an hour, and that really helped me focus on the right type of
pushing but the intensity was taking over me.
It was so tough to surrender and truly push. Eventually we moved to the living room for me
to hang on my husband’s knees and squat.
I was pushing more effectively but I was so weak that my legs couldn’t
squat anymore. I started to panic internally
that my body would give out before my spirit would. My team moved me on to a leaning back
position on the couch with my legs up and supported – essentially, it was the
position I was always SURE I wouldn’t deliver in! But it was all my body could support.
I pushed for a few hours in this
position. The baby had a great heart
rate the whole time, and I had 100% support & attention of my team. I finally felt the baby crown and I resisted
pushing to let my body adjust and soon I was able to push the baby out! It was impossible for my brain to process the
sensation, since it had been such a long time coming! My warm sweet baby came right to my chest.
Over a minute later I looked around and said,
“Well, what IS it?!” Wouldn’t ya
know? Nobody thought to look! We were just so happy! My midwife looked and said it was a boy and
my heart exploded with joy – mainly because I assumed he was a boy all along
and I love being right! We stared at
him. I delivered the placenta no problem
(FYI – I encapsulated it and I highly recommend consumption of it in this form,
it has helped me immensely during post partum!)
My husband asked me what his name was, and I definitively
said “Rocco!”
Rocco
Eraldo Pinti was born at 12:45pm at 7lbs 14oz and 20” long.
I was
dunked back in the birth tub to clean off and my loving team carried me up to
bed and tucked me in. They cared for me
and Don and they cleaned up my house. We
ate a snack and smiled at the baby. It
was exactly the journey I manifested in my mind. Soon our parents were in our bedroom, all of
us sitting on the bed staring in wonder at the next generation! For me, being able to recover at home was
critical, because I truly struggled those first few days from the toll that
pushing took on my body.
If I could
share anything with you, its that you should birth without fear. Its also that you deserve to have a safe
empowering birth, where you’re supported and respected. It should not matter where you birth, but how
you birth.
Thank you
to:
Megan
Crossgrove, RN
Dr. Jessica Sielawa, DC, CACCP (Chiropractic Care)
Kari Gardner, L/AC. (Acupuncture)
Erika DeSocio Photography
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